Tuesday, 12 February 2013

Rare is true love, True friendship is rarer



Yes, I am choosing to illustrate a blog post about friendship with a video of otters holding hands. You're just gonna have to live with it. It is also a piece that I wrote on my Tumblr a few months back, just spruced up a little. (It's Tuesday, I think I have a cold and there isn't enough coffee in the world to activate my brain today).

The internet is overflowing with quotes about THAT special person. Coming up to Valentines it increases in intensity, the desire to find true, Disney-perfect love is everywhere (I can honestly blame Disney for SO MANY unrealistic expectations, mainly to do about hair).

I’ve loved. Loved, lost and grown into a better person for it. But to me these quotes don’t make me think about a boyfriend or a past or future dream prince. I think eternal, true love is more fluid than that. I think it can be applied to other relationships than the norm, and I think you can feel it for several people. 
Let's make something clear, I'm not poly-amourous. Fair enough if that's your thing, but that's not what I'm talking about here. I just want to take the concept of "the one true love" and shake it up a bit. Because true love does not neccesarily have to be a romantic love.


My friends are my greatest loves and in spite of every flaw I’ve got they still find me amazing. And I know that they are the stars in my sky and the blood in my veins. The people I can text whenever I've done something extraordinarily stupid. The ones I can have a drunken cry to at 4AM. The ones I would kill (or at least seriously damage) for.  They make me realize how goddamn LUCKY I am everyday, these people who truly love me, flaws and mistakes included. 

I can see myself growing old with them, and I suppose that, my friends, is what so much of this hunt for the ideal partner seems to be about. And if I shall ever be so lucky that I find someone who I feel even half of the connection to that I have with my friends (and also fancy the pants off) then maybe I will look at those romantic quotes with different eyes. 
But you know what? I'm pretty chuffed that I have found the loves of my life. They're sweet, smart, funny, caring, insane, beautiful and open-minded. Basically, I've scored.

Saturday, 9 February 2013

Where I want to be today:

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In a cherry blossom park in Paris.

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Venice in the winter.

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Ban Gioc Waterfalls in Vietnam.

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Or cloud-watching in Argentina. Especially if it involves a glass or two of Malbec.

But alas, with my finances I will have to dream rather than jet off to some fabulous location. At least I have Pinterest to keep those dreams going (along with my dreams of the perfect home and vintage Dior dresses). Do check me out.

Friday, 8 February 2013

A little bit of sunshine to make the flowers grow



February is such a cruel month. Somehow you start believing that spring isn't that far away and you allow youself to dream about putting your heavy winter coat and boots away, about sitting outside with a coffee and stealing a few minutes of sunshine, and about having to dig out your sunglasses. You start to fool yourself that it's entirely possible for it to happen any time soon and you might even start looking around for a less wintery wardrobe. And then BAM, the snow comes right back with a vengeance and you spend another few weeks freezing you butt off.
I'm not OK with this.

Maybe this is why people have become more and more keen on Valentines day. We do need something to take out minds of the grey slush, our numb fingers and our colds which just never seem to go away. Personally I can't remember ever celebrating Valentines. Might be odd, seeing as I have been the eternal serial monogamist, but I cringe at the sight of teddy bears holding fuzzy love hearts, over-priced red roses and the though of going out for dinner to a restaurant decorated with pink helium balloons. Not. Keen. But if you fancy it, please do go ahead, I'm not som kind of bitter anti-valentines protester. I'm all for love and loveliness. I just prefer my love and lovelieness under less structured circumstances.

I'm also all for more sunshine. Perhaps I can just hibernate until April (which, fair enough, has been referred to as the cruelest month) and awake to kinder temperatures, a less jaded mood and with no dark circles under my eyes. 2 months worth of sleep should see to that, right?

But true love is so hard to find

Wednesday, 6 February 2013

Advice me, advice me real good.

When you're in the middle of reshaping your life people tend to want to give you a lot of advice.
I welcome it, I enjoy it. But I am terrible and following it (GIVING advice, on the other hand, I'm GREAT at that).

But I was given one piece of advice a few weeks ago.
Well, not even advice, this person just stated a fact.
That fact being, that if you keep doing what you always have done, the result will always be the same.
So if you're unhappy with the result, change the way you go about things. Simple as that.

So here goes nothing.

Monday, 4 February 2013

Why I'm a feminist (prepare for a rant which knows no bounds)

I rocked a lot of pink as a child.

I don't remember ever having a defining "OMG, I'm a feminist" moment. It's pretty much always seemed the natural way of things. I am a woman, I like having the right to vote, I enjoy being able to attend school and university and I enjoy that, at the end of the day, it is down to me how I chose to live my life. All of these things would not have been possible without feminism. Without feminism there would be no right to vote, no right to education and no right to make my own choices. How on earth could I not be a feminist?

It scares me that so many people, and what scares me the most, that so many women don't seem to understand the importance of feminism. How so many seem to think that it's an outdated subject and that it should be left in the history books. To me that's like saying that we should stop discussing and objecting towards racism because slavery technically is abolished. And it scares me now more than ever because I can feel a hardening of the climate, the debate is getting nastier and I fear that we are regressing on so many levels.

I have had arguments regarding feminism with people, who as it turned out, didn't even know the meaning of the word. It is not, and I repeat NOT, a female struggle to enslave men. It is not a crusade for vengeance or the burning of bras. To be honest I do not care what you chose to do with your underwear (or body hair or shoes or any other insignificant detail you chose to attach to this debate). You can wear lace underwear, red lipstick and stilettos sharp enough to take someones eye out for all I care. And with regards to men, I fricking love them! Men are great, awesome and I have such I hopes for the sons of my friends who will become the men of the future. They will rock, as much as the daughters. And hopefully they will know the value of fighting for equality.

Because here's the thing; we're not there yet.
I myself live in one of the most equal countries in the world. I have the freedom of speech, to travel, to drive and to make every decision regarding my own body without any involvement from the government, the church or a male chaperon. Women of many countries can become prime ministers, presidents, heads of state. We can technically, rule the world. So when I say that I am a feminist I often get the question why. Why possibly could a Swedish, middle class woman feel the need to label herself in such a way? 

And as it feels so natural to be it's not always easy to explain. But essentially it's because there's still an issue. Globally, very much so. In some countries women are still seen as second class citizens. In some countries they are NOT allowed to drive, become politicians or decide over their own body. In some countries young girls are threatened with violence simply for wanting to go to school. 
And here, in my own part of the world, there is still very much an imbalance of power. 
Could it just be a biological fact, you may ask? Well, I don't see how biology causes this:
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 I do not care if Lana want's to strut her naked stuff on the cover of a magazine, what I do care about is the context in which this is done. It disturbs me that initially I didn't even react, we are so used to naked women on the cover of magazines, it's institutionalized sexism have I ever seen it. Because most people don't even think twice about that on some level this might not be OK. This might not be the message we want sent out to young girls and boys. But still, we do. Daily, I might add.

Sexism is never, and will never be OK. It goes hand in hand with so many of the ugly sides of humanity. It goes hand in hand with violence and the notion that in some weird roundabout way, the female body is still a commodity. Something to be admired, touched, taken, bought. Grabbed, leered over. Violated.

I do not believe that the occasional naked photo of a female celebrity will cause men to go out and violate a woman. I frankly do not understand what makes ANYONE want to hurt another person in that way. I do not blame GQ for sexism, and I do not believe that half naked celebs will be the downfall of humanity. But I do believe that there is still so much room for change in how we perceive men and women and what values we install in the next generation. 

I strongly believe that there still is room for improvement. I still believe that there is a need for articles such as this, on how the male attitude to rape has been shaped, and such as this, on how young girls ideas of self is shaped by our very grown up world (in Swedish).

I don't think it's OK for a girl to automatically be frightened when she hears footsteps closing in on her as she is walking home on her own.
I don't think it's OK that the conviction rate for rape is so terrifyingly low.
I don't think it's OK for female journalists to recieve death threats or suggestions that they "just need to get laid" when they comment on male violence or just dare to divert from the norm.
I don't think it's OK that boys are being made to feel that they have to be hard in order to be real men.
I don't think it's OK that a girl who has multiple sex partners is considered a slut when no one raises an eye brow when a man sleeps around. 
I don't think it's OK that people believe that it's time to give up the fight and accept the way things are.

And that's why I'm a feminist. Because I see no other possible way of being.




Friday, 1 February 2013

Even though the rest of the world may disagree you still believe it to be a beautiful place

Things I like today:
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Ab Fab. Did I say today? I mean forever and always. It's just so AMAZING, sweetie darling.

Caitlin Moran. Éverything (well almost) this woman says makes sense. And if it doesn't make sense it's funny as hell. Read her books, read her articles and follow her on Twitter.


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This sign. I would drink there.

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This bike. It's gloriously clever.

Tom Hanks spoofing Toddlers and Tiaras. He's a brilliant pageant-mom. Watch it here.

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This Photo of David Bowie. *Swoon*

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This trampoline bridge in Paris. 

Will Ferrel taking on the internet trolls. Because he just seems so LOVEABLE. Watch it here.

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This Totoro bed. I need it.

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This beautiful crockery. (And, you know, a flat to keep it in would be nice too.)

Tina Fey and Amy Poehler. I can't begin to describe how happy they make me. Watch it here.

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This otter. Which, yes, I made bigger than the other pictures. Because it's f-ing AMAZING and it makes me HAPPY. How could it not make people happy?! It's the best otter in the world.