Advice me, advice me real good.

When you're in the middle of reshaping your life people tend to want to give you a lot of advice.
I welcome it, I enjoy it. But I am terrible and following it (GIVING advice, on the other hand, I'm GREAT at that).

But I was given one piece of advice a few weeks ago.
Well, not even advice, this person just stated a fact.
That fact being, that if you keep doing what you always have done, the result will always be the same.
So if you're unhappy with the result, change the way you go about things. Simple as that.

So here goes nothing.

Life lessons

I like to think that my bang-ups and hang-up have left me with some valuable life lessons. Like, I know how to get red wine, blood or grease stains out of practically anything . I also know that mayo will help remove waterstains on wooden furniture and that no good will come out of calling your ex after a bottle of wine.
Life is a goddamn steep learnings curve, but still it seems it has taken me this long to accept and understand certain PIVOTAL facts.

VITAL LIFE LESSONS

• Cheese will make everything better. Unless you're lactos intolerant, in which case (as a cheese obsessed lactos-lover) I feel bad for you. You could always try bacon though, it has pretty much the same effect.
• A person, be it friend, boyfriend, girlfriend, who only likes you when you're happy but seems hesitant to be involved when you're upset or sad, well that person can fuck off. Love doesn't work that way.
• Same goes for guys who protest at the mention of a condom. Really, they can fuck off. This is probably the most fool proof way of detecting a dickhead you'll ever have. So if you DO get frisky with a boy and he looks at you with puppy eyes and says: "But you're on the pill, right?" you could (as a friend of mine actually did) try to stare him straight in the eye, smile and exclaim "No, WE'RE HAVING A BAAAABYYYY!"
• If you find yourself being unhappy during a longer amount of time you almost always have to change something. News flash: It's not always you.
• Cutting your own hair is always a bad idea.
• Making stuff will make you happy. It doesn't matter if it's a loaf of bread, a new blog, a million lists of stuff to do, a playlist, a scarf... Actually creating something is a mood booster, albeit a short term solution.
• People who say they don't like musicals are clearly really sad on the inside and need more musicals in their lives to cheer them up.
• The only one you should call after 3am is the taxi company.
• Being in a relationship should not leave you feeling lonely.
• Learn how to enjoy coffee. Honestly, it's the best advice I can give you. It's legal, it's tasty, it will bring you energy, comfort and frankly you will never be seen as a proper adult until you do.